Dear Mariella | Relationships |


The challenge


A new lady started in the small company 6 months back and this lady has began to replicate how I dress and communicate several of my personal passions. I’ve mentioned my personal concerns using my supervisor and she recommended i will end up being flattered. But I’m not – it is creepy. This woman is after some duration more youthful than me personally, resides along with her moms and dads and confided in me personally that she doesn’t have many friends. She’s a boyfriend, but from everything I can assemble they don’t see one another typically and he sometimes ignores the girl phone calls. We should not begin a conflict, when I love my personal job, but in addition We desire the girl to prevent acting because of this. From choice i mightn’t spending some time with her, as she is somewhat intense and inane, and do not feel just like I should need to be buddies together with her even though we collaborate.



Mariella responses

Buddies, no; tolerant, yes. Let’s not naive here: if women just weren’t insecure and don’t duplicate their idols, the complete trend industry would have collapsed long since. From Anna Wintour’s perennial Chanel respect to Cheryl Cole’s rich women looking for poor man‘s Cindy Crawford, discover few frontrunners and vast amounts of fans about sartorial course. Who’sn’t copying some body is a much better concern to inquire of than that is.

We observe a mention of a musical pattern in the seventies within longer email and think that Patti Smith and Debbie Harry might have influenced your personal closet. We’ll bet those esteemed rebels do not whinge about imitators since, other than some exemplary tunes, like the majority of musical icons their own achievements is dependent partly on their followers’ life style selections. Simulation is both the sincerest type of flattery and an important ingredient of every childhood action. Section of a superstar’s job is always to make fans who wish to imitate all of them so terribly they devour the unlikeliest product. Should it be woman Gaga’s colors or George Clooney’s coffee devices, celebrity endorsement is actually big business.

One of the few items of knowledge you accrue combined with significantly less pleasant progressing decades is healthily disparage all fashions. By 45 I couldn’t care less whether flares had been in or out, waists were large or low, or pumps stiletto or program, as determined by trend bibles and those who cared adequate to notice. It could took me personally years to embrace the blindingly evident, but what in the long run turns out to be clear whenever the fog of youth gives way to the understanding of middle-age is that top quality continues, certain bodies fit specific styles, and the truly well dressed attention perhaps not a hoot for what those around them are wearing.

You are receiving all huffy about some woman inside office who clearly has issues socialising and is, most likely, desperately insecure. Not one person’s asking you to just take the girl below your wing, but at minimum see her imitations as homage without attack.

Just imagine if our very own newlywed Duchess of Cambridge got your method. Alternatively I undoubtedly that she’s immensely flattered whenever a huge number of royal-blue duplicates of Issa frocks fly outside of the high-street stores. Based on the woman sartorial choices, whole manner chains are flourishing. We’ll gamble she is not moaning to the head for the company that each and every time she is whisked through the West End she views countless imitators, but is basking when you look at the cozy shine of this slavish devotion. There is hardly a bride contained in this nation maybe not seeking fairy-tale fabric on her behalf summer time wedding ceremony in an effort to spread by herself with Middleton secret. If royalty isn’t your own thing, subsequently how about celebrity? Elizabeth Hurley developed a whole profitable next career on such basis as much-copied trend statements. Once again, pragmatist that this woman is, I am sure Liz is eternally grateful on many exactly who wished to follow inside her Valentino-styled footsteps.

Wandering the corridors of your work environment is actually a lonely starstruck woman just who thinks you’re ultimate in cool. Actually the punk design, which felt the antithesis of manner, was created perhaps not in countless grimy songs venues but in the decorative mirrors of angst-ridden teenagers influenced by puppet-master Malcolm McLaren and developer wizard Dame Vivienne Westwood.

What about you gracefully accept that imitation could be the sincerest kind of flattery, supplement the doppelgänger on her facelift acquire on with your own existence. If you ceased appearing behind you, the disciples that follow within footsteps might possibly be invisible. Real originals look neither backwards nor sideways but resolutely to tomorrow.


When you yourself have an issue, send a brief email to
mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk
. To own the state with this week’s line, choose
theguardian.com/dearmariella
. Follow Mariella on Twitter at @mariellaf1